Oh, The Gas prices!

I pull up at the gas station, innocently ready to put my few cents to add 1 gallon of gas (why more?) in the car i just borrowed.

I take my credit card out of my wallet, and start the fill up, doing it very slowly since i do not want to put more than the $2.53 and 9 tenths which add up to one gallon.

The money counter hit $2.54 (which is more than $2.53 and 9 tenths), I was SHOCKED to only get 0.99 of a gallon!

These gas companies got to go! Maybe the new Vaad Hakahal will help!

From the depths

You may know me, if you do you are aware that i am a die hard fan of Idan raichel.

He is a music genius that creates middle eastern style music. He does it like a pro.

I'm not here to review him or give an opinion but he is the top Jewish singer in the world, you might not consider his music Jewish - but he is. (I do consider his music Jewish, but that's a whole other discussion)

Today news when out, that for the first time ever he will be performing in Kesaria. That is like the hottest concert arena in Isreal, and if you didn't perform there, you can't consider yourself a singer (even Shewekey (who's that????) performed there).

In an interview, Idan was asked if he ever puts on Tefillin, he answered: "In Ben gurion airport, before a flight."

Sucks that he dosen't have to fly to Kesaria . . .

Argue with an (Op. Ed.)

I can either go on a rant explaining why this anonymous writer (Click Here) is a DushBerry. Or I can just humor you guys with a GREAT PICTURE. by a dear friend (LT). Thank you!

Breaking or fixing?

All over crown heights new streets are being paved. No not in one day, first they come with their big machines and demolish the road. They leave it unusable and really annoying (not to mention bad for rental car tires) to drive on.

Yes, in two weeks they will repave it, but they want you should appreciate what you have, so they throw you to the bottom. We will repave it, but feel the pain of unpaved roads!!!

You may call it mean, but only we get a holiday(!) to commemorate our great fortune that we can SCREW UP, and then FIX UP!

It's not a favor: "Oh, you screwed up i'll give you one more chance" NO!!! Lechatchila - we have a Pesach Sheni, year in and year out.

We will always screw up, i guess the goal is to make the screw ups smaller so we can sleep better on Pesach Sheni!

A Sandwich for Moshiach

Yesterday at around 1PM i was hungry. I skipped breakfast as usual (had 2 large coffee's instead), and the basic dilemma started. Should i go to Mendy's (released time special) or Kingston bakery (they also have sushi?) or make my way all the way down to Bunch 'o bagels (sorry we are out of that too).

I ended up letting my feet walk me into Albany baker. I asked for a lox sandwich, and was ready to pay. Standing at the counter was Naftoli Astulin with a credit card: I need miles, I'm paying for you.

In fact he paid for everyone in the store, the lady in front of me had $40 of groceries, behind me 2 bottles of milk (OK, that one was his daughter).

He said: it helps bring Moshiach, and the more you talk about moshiach the closer he comes.

He asked that we all do soothing little for Moshiach: here is what I'm doing, reminding everyone that we can all do something to bring him closer.

If you're not sure what to do, meet me at the Kretchme at 2:00 today.

Are you smarter then a smartphone???

I can't under any circumstance respect one that is dumber then his phone. I never jumped the bandwagon, i had friends tell me: "These phones are great, you don't have to think with them".

- Duh - i think - where are those days when we would memorize every phone number in our head. I don't thing you can find one 17 year old that knows his own home number. "oh, it's on speed dial"

I never had to think, i didn't need a smart phone to make dumb things seem simple.

But today i got one. The reason: 3 days ago i had a spare hour, so i called sprint, 14 minutes later i had a free smart phone. My old one was just too old.

And no, i didn't get an iPhone ("Wow, it can slide to unlock!!!!")!

F-R-I-E-N-D-S

There are many kinds of friends. Without the philosophy behind who really is your friend.
Fact is that most people hang around with others most of the time. Now there are those you see every day, others you text every hour, there are even friends that two minutes after you say goodbye - you are back chatting with them for hours online.

Then there are some special ones. You see them once in six months, and then they help you waste like 4 hours of your time catching up.

Not talking about the stop & chat you do on Pesach when you see someone ("How's Yeshiva" "what are you doing for the summer" "Next year???" "Where did you just say you are [like i was listening]"). Talking about those you genuinely care about and spend time with.

I never understood, if there is so much i can share with these few individuals, why don't i keep in touch more ofter? why don't we talk, text, call or chat. At the very least FACEBOOK - -

I guess if we would keep in touch, there wouldn't be a 'once in six months friend'!
So till next Pesach, Succoss or next time i see you, take care!

How to digest Matzah!

I don't need more then the fact that a Frume Magazine advertises for a 'easier digesting solution' for Pesach. Come on, isn't that the clearest indication that Pesach is not for those with a week stomach?!

I for one have a real week stomach, I don't hate the holiday per say, but i anxiously await it's departure.

Everything about Pesach is great. The Seder with the whole family, Chol hamoed outings and the extra sleep (when did that happen???) but the fact that when i wake up there is no cup of coffee and danish awaiting my presence, makes me await the day after.

Yes, now that i had a danish and Venti black eye i can do another few days of chemical imbalance. But like all great things, when they go they just go.

Welcome back to all Bochrim that spent the holiday making others happy across the world.
תהא משכורתם שלמה

Morning, Sunshine

I got up this morning, Historical, Monumental, call it what you want. I was excited. Why? dunno, they say it's special so it won't hurt me to be happy in the morning for once in 28 years.

I was standing ready for the blessing, my blue Birkas Hachama Manual in my hand, i was ready to say the page and a half of verses, when i feel a tug on my shoulder.

An Israeli Bochur is standing there and with no embarrassment proclaims: "Zeh Makom Sheli" (This is my place).

You see - every time we bless the sun, he stands at that little 2 inch square on the Eastern Parkway mall.

Good chance of that!! But it was fun, we should do it again some day!

Maamar in a bar

Yes I confess, my writers block caused my lately to hit the bars again. Making it my quest to find the best bar in town. After all It's my New York I deserve the best.

I found this place by mistake, you see, a few weeks ago my dear sister gave birth to a beautiful daughter. And while i went to visit her at the hospital i came across The brazon head.

No, Not the best. But the best IPA I've ever had. The best part was that i came equipped with my Birkas Hachama manual, so as I was drinking i tried to understand the Rebbe's words of 5713. It was cool. I didn't get the half of it, but i felt special.

See tomorrow i gotta be sobor for the 1st time in 28 years. Lets make it a Grande!

Brain Blocked

I once saw this comic of a writer complaining about writers block, her husband turns to her and says: you write children's books, what kind of block can there be?

I don't think i write children books, but i don't really write, i rant. and for that i can't complain or excuse myself that i have writers block.

I can however claim to have ranters block, and in no way am i implying that i have nothing to rant about. It's only a bit difficult to put it on paper. or keyboard.

I WILL BE BACK!!

Broken retailers

In our world, everyone has a job for the sole reason of making money. Sure, some have a passion and love what they are doing, and perhaps that's the way all should feel, however the money is the primary reason of showing up to work every day.

Although this fact may be true, it is much clearer when viewing the line of work of stock brokers or investors. They clearly couldn't give two hoots if the company they invest in does well or not, all they want is their money.

Sure if you invest with amazon you want them to land a jackpot that day, but tomorrow when you move on to another company, amazon's well doing is on bottom of you're concerns.

It used to be that if you sold shoes, you cared about shoes. Sure you sold it to make a livelihood, but you had some sort of shoe interest.

So when the shoe store on Kingston Ave. started selling memory cards and digital camera's, i was sure that the owners interest in shoes changed, and now likes electronics.

How shocked i was when he now moved back to shoes!!!

I guess he - like the stock market - wants to make it clear, that all he cares about is money!!!

You see, like the market, he is also closed on Sunday.

re. last post

okay, first of all i am not taking it personal and i don`t even know who youd be referring to, but i think that ur not even sure urself what psynam means, y else would it be taking u so long to come up with a new post?

What is Psynam????

The answer is not important right now, and if you don't know that's OK, what i can't stand is people who think they know, and based on their foolish interpretations they have opinions about what belongs on this blog.

Sure, the coffee cleaner man in Kahans who always gets in the way, and the bench fixer in 770 should maybe switch jobs in an effort to create things to write about, but at the end of the day as long as there is entertainment - it will be written.

This post was written for one person, and you know who you are, so all others do not have to understand it.